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K.C. Frogge: Music

I'M NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE

(K.C. Frogge)
October 19, 2009
Original hit by JoDee Messina; re-written parody lyrics by K.C. Frogge

I have a lot of fond memories of the state from where I relocated to be here in sunny and enlightened California, but in recent years, the state that used to be somewhat progressive and even liberal in the '60s* has been hijacked by conservative fundamentalists and even extremists with the intent on squelching any beliefs but their own narrow views of what morality and thinking should encompass. I'm talking about the Sunflower State: Kansas.


With recent events including a "Redneck Rapper" (who can't sing) telling tales of woe because our new President and a forward-thinking administration (including Kansas' former governor, Kathleen Sabelius, the new Secretary of Health and Human Services) wants to encourage Kansans to develop alternative forms of clean energy including wind, water and solar (and wean themselves off of coal, the last bastion of conservative dinosaurs who corner the market on it) and whines about shivering in the cold in 2020 without coal; or a Kansas member of Congress whose comments about searching the GOP for the next "Great White Hope" sounded like a swipe at our first non-White president; or the anti-abortion extremist who gunned down a doctor in the doctor's own church on a Sunday morning during church services in the name of "pro-life"; and finally, that always charming and enlightening (at least for the far-rightnut religious zealots) Fred Phelps, who pickets the funerals of U.S. soldiers because he is obsessed with crusading against gay people and says their existence is the reason why "God Hates America"... well, there's only so much a girl from that state can take before she stands up and shouts, "ENOUGH!" Are there ANY reasonable, progressive, common-sense people in Kansas who will now stand up and say they are tired of being made fun of because everyone knows what a haven their state is for nut-job wackos who spew such hate and bigotry?


Well, if enough people finally "get it," maybe there will be a progressive revolution... and perhaps this song will help light the candle that sheds light on the problem.


I may have left... but I still keep one eye looking behind me to see if there is any hope left for the folks I still know who live there. (One woman e-mailed me and said for the reasons I stated in my song lyrics, that's why she was no longer a Hoosier (from Indiana), either.)


* When I was young, Missouri had a "blue law" where stores could ot open for business on Sundays because of religious and backward thinking. Because we lived on the Missouri side in Kansas City, our family used to drive across the State Line (called State Line Road) and make an afternoon and sometimes into evening patronizing all the great stores that were willing to sell to eager Missourians who resented being told when they could and could not shop. Ultimately in the early '70s, Missouri lifted their Blue Law, but I still enjoyed going to the Kansas side to shop because we could. And although Kansas was a "dry" state for a long time, you could still get a "membership" by paying a small cover charge at bars to imbibe, dance and mingle. Small price to pay for equality, and that law is now off the books as well.

I'M NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE


(to the tune of “You’re Not In Kansas Anymore” by JoDee Messina)
New lyrics by K.C. Frogge (formerly of Johnson County, KS)


Used to be, back in ‘64
It was a happening kind of place
A hundred years past the Civil War
It rose above politics and race
Then the right-wingnuts attacked
Said the people surely lacked a moral compass here
And they made their scary speeches
Got hold of ’em like leeches and preyed on their fears; that’s why

I’m not in Kansas anymore
Your “Redneck Rapper”’s such a bore
And when you think that life’s a drag,
comes “reverend” Phelps to hate a fag
Extreme pro-lifers think it’s fun
to kill a doctor with a gun
A “Great White Hope“‘s what they adore, and that’s why
I’m not in Kansas anymore

Well your recent governor was great
I heard she got a promotion, too
Now she’s “sleeping with the enemy”
What a cabinet post will do!
Instead of tipping her your cap
And riding in the lap of new “green” luxury
You scream and bitch and moan
To keep your ancient coal and yesterday’s technology; that's why

I’m not in Kansas anymore
Been there, done that, now it’s a snore
I’m quite surprised that it’s still there:
a town called Liberal... if you dare.
So count my numbers back to one
All the smart ones walk or run
to a place where progress soars, and that’s why
I’m not in Kansas anymore.

To all you racist, bigot bores: you’re why
I’m not in Kansas anymore.